I don’t know what it is about my daily life, but it seems like everything gives me anxiety anymore. Have to send a text to someone? Anxiety. A phone call? Anxiety. Walking into a room to draw blood? Anxiety. Time at home with the hubby? You guessed it: anxiety.
I suppose I’ve reached the point that every woman in my mother’s family has reached. It seems that, as we get older, we get crazier. I’ve always been a little off, but I’m starting to get more off base than usual. My mood swings are horrible. My anxiety is skyrocketing. My drive to do anything has taken a nosedive. Just thinking about it all is enough to make me upset. I want to go to my physician about it, but I don’t like the thought of having to keep up with pills every day. I’m bad at pills. I usually only remember to take my acid reflux medicine every other day. I never remember my vitamins either.
I’ve been torturing my husband with my mood swings for at least two weeks and it is making me feel worse. I’m lost and I have this massive feeling of loneliness even though I’m far from alone. I’m married for god’s sake. There isn’t anymore “alone.” I have someone to face everything with and, yet, I don’t want to burden him with my problem. Nothing makes sense right now and it’s killing me.
This whole thing just has me twisted up. I don’t know what to do. I have options, but very few seem viable due to our finances. I think that’s what I keep telling myself anyway. I don’t want to spend the money that we need to pay bills as that would also increase my anxiety.
It’s all just making me feel so sick and tired.