Posts Tagged ‘planning’

So, not long after my last post, I managed to destroy my laptop. You wouldn’t believe what I did. I accidentally kicked the damn thing off of my ottoman and, though I caught it before it bounced really hard, it did hit somewhat heavily on the end of the power cord. I think that knocked something in the hard drive loose, because, a few moments after I sat it back onto my little desk, it failed miserably. We’ve had our repaired laptop back for a few weeks, but I haven’t been in a blogging mood. I haven’t been in any kind of mood really.

I think I’ve given up completely on trying to keep any creative outlet. Writing is no longer a pleasure. It’s more of something that I do, because I feel like I have to do it. I want to enjoy writing again, but I think there’s just too much going on in my real life to try to write any kind of drama in a pretend world, no matter how badly I need to do it.

My husband’s job is closing down in May.

I’ll give you a moment to digest that.

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One of the blogs I follow linked to an Online Plot Generator and I’m considering using it once a week to try to get some creative energy flowing. The plots it generates are extremely vague, but just enough to generate a tiny idea in my brain. I read one and instantly had an idea for something. Had it not been for the fact that I was fixing to cook dinner then I would have sat down and written something for it.

Dinner last night was excellent, by the way. We managed to pick up some pork steaks when we went grocery shopping and I fried a couple of those for my man. I haven’t had pork in a while, because our budget was so tight. We were able to be a little splurgier on some of the meat this time, because the bills are all paid. It was well worth it. I baked a couple of them so they’re going to be my lunch today while my man is at work. Now I just have to finish the dishes. Bleh.

The wedding is looming. My mother is wanting to finalize some details this week and my whole body is just against that idea. I don’t want to do it. It’s too much trouble and too scary for me. I’m really starting to feel the pressure and, honestly, it shouldn’t feel like pressure. We’re going to be married and it’s going to be a good thing. I’m just one of those people who are scarred by their past and too scared that things might go back to that. I know I shouldn’t be afraid with such a nice man in my life, but you can’t help that sometimes.

And I don’t mean me.

I’m considering fleshing out the ideas on my brain a little more by simply writing about the characters using a list of questions I got from the internet. There are 100 questions (some are skippable if they don’t apply) and it seems like a decent idea just to get me writing things down. I’ve been writing in holding onto a notebook a lot lately and it’s been a good feeling to have the pencil and paper in my hands. I think I’ll try working more on that as soon as possible.

I’ve got somewhere along the line of six characters in my brain right now. Only about two make sense right now. I’m hoping to figure out who these are before I do any real writing. It was always hard for me to write anything without a proper profile so maybe that’s the actual steps I should take? Write like I’m roleplaying and roleplay with myself. It’s a reasonable assumption really. Hmm.

Lee has decided to go to bed early and that leaves me sitting and watching YouTube alone. I could head to bed as well, but he went to bed after I whined and so I can only assume that I’ve done something. Rather than crawl straight into bed with him, I’m going to give him his space and allow him to get to sleep before I go in there.

The past week has been full of things happening.

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My manly man and I did some more wedding planning this week.

I woke up to go to a meeting on Tuesday and found him gone at one in the afternoon. I had a slight panic moment, but I thought maybe he went to work early. I shot him a text and he called me while I was on the way to my meeting. He had gone to do some wedding footwork before work and got better quotes on the tuxes for the wedding. Seven tuxes, grey in color and including all the odds and ends, will cost about $960. That’s the best quote he had. Honestly, out of all the expenses, we’re only asking the guys to pay for their travel and their tuxes. I don’t see that as entirely unreasonable.

I’m starting to look forward to the wedding. We went together Wednesday to look at the church and talk to the gentleman who was running things. They’re in the middle of changing pastors so they don’t have a dedicated pastor, but it turns out the man he was wanting to marry us is their current pastor. I took this as a wonderful sign of fate and I’ve urged him to call him and speak to him about it. I know he’s looking forward to the wedding even more now. The church isn’t going to charge us anything and it is a super huge place. It will be a wonderful wedding.

I called my mother and let her know. She was happy that I was happy, but now more questions have been raised. Do we want to have the reception on site or off site? Are we having dinner or just a cake/cookie kind of reception? When are we going to do the photos? Ugh. So much to do and so little time to do it. I’ve got to get my invitations out soon so I’m going to have to start collecting addresses as soon as possible. I will probably start sending out messages and calling people this week in order to get that worked out.

Such a mess. I hope I can survive it all.

Have you ever wanted to do something with all your heart, but know for a fact that it would scare the shit out of you while doing it? That’s how I feel about going to Japan.

All my life, I’ve wanted to go to Asia, particularly Japan, and see the sights there. Everything about Asia is so awesome to me. I’ve always wondered if, maybe, one of my past lives was from there. Yeah, I believe in past lives. It’s a little weird, but it’s the only way for me to explain how I can feel so drawn to the things I’m drawn toward. This morning, I’ve been watching a show about the historic innovations of Japan (Science Channel nerd) and all it has done is made me want to go there even more. This, on top of fact that my man told me he’s wanted to go there forever, has got me scheming a little bit.

The scheme is this. If I can save up around $5,000, I should be able to plan a trip for myself and my man to Japan by our fifth anniversary. This means I’m going to have to start tucking away even more money than I am now. I’m going to have to find ways to cut money out of my bills and get myself motivated to do it. It scares the shit out of me, but I really want to do it. I want to experience adventure with my man like he always does when he goes off on his own.