Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

It’s been over a month since I made any entries into my blog and, well, I have no real reasoning behind it. There was a two week period where I have a decent excuse with the wedding and all, but the rest is just, because I didn’t really feel like writing anything. I mean, I did feel like writing, but I didn’t feel like putting out the effort to put anything down onto media.

So, the week of our wedding was full of celebration and camaraderie. We had such a wonderful time with our friends and, even though our house was full to the brim with bodies, I felt so at home with all those folks. It was an experience that I hope to have again sometime with my friends. We’re all so close and that only proved to draw us closer. We played a few rounds of laser tag and my city friends got to explore the area that I grew up in. They had banjos and hillbilly accents in mind, but found that my tiny city in the south could be a pleasant experience. Several of them have decided that they’re going to come and visit again. I’m looking forward to that.

Pictures from the wedding…

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Lee has decided to go to bed early and that leaves me sitting and watching YouTube alone. I could head to bed as well, but he went to bed after I whined and so I can only assume that I’ve done something. Rather than crawl straight into bed with him, I’m going to give him his space and allow him to get to sleep before I go in there.

The past week has been full of things happening.

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Because of my own inability to get organized, I recently drafted my mother as my wedding planner. I have no clue what I’m doing. They say that every little girl plans their wedding day, but clearly “they” did not understand that I’m a science dork that cared more for learning and sports than I ever cared about my wedding day. I never really saw myself getting married. My dad asked me Tuesday about marriage and I said that, “It seemed like a good idea.” For the most part, it still does. I see myself spending a very long time with my man and so why shouldn’t we be married?

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It’s payday again and, well, the money is already spent. Again. For two checks in a row, I’ve had to pay bills and use pretty much every dime to make sure the bills were paid. I didn’t realize just how much it would be for us to live where we live. Were it not for the fact that my man gets our satellite for the price of working where he works then we wouldn’t have it at all. The internet alone is nearly seventy dollars (middle of fucking NOWHERE), but we use it more than we use the actual television. I mean, I use the TV now, because I now have several primetime shows that I love. Arrow, Supernatural (more him than me), Psych (I don’t like this one at all), and The Science Channel (definitely my channel) fill our home weekly. I am DEEPLY in love with Arrow. I have been following it since day one and enjoy the hell out of it. The season finale is next week and, Jesus, I’m looking forward to it. That’s well beyond the point I’m making, but I must spread the world of the great Green Arrow and how awesome they’ve made him on The CW.

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The best advice I’ve received about my writing, so far, was given to me by a random person that I had never spoken to before. How they found my short blurb announcing to the world that I was giving up, I can’t say for sure, but I’ve thought about it off and on for a little while and realize that they are probably correct.

Do you write for the pleasure of it? Nothing should take it away from you if that be the case. Perhaps instead of writing for others to thread with you, write for yourself.

I don’t remember the last time I wrote for myself rather than for the amusement of others. I think that’s always been what’s on my mind when I do write. I’ve also had a struggle within myself about my writing. I want to tell a story that I love and share it with others, but part of me wants no one to ever read what I write for fear that they’ll criticize it. Criticism would only help me expand my writing and make it better, but I don’t like criticism. Criticism just discourages me and makes me not want to try again and that’s in all aspects of my life. Criticize any of my work and I no longer wish to do whatever it was that you were critical about. I suppose you could call me overly-sensitive.

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I’m sad that it’s Wednesday already.

I don’t feel like I’ve had a whole vacation simply, because I’ve been fielding calls/texts from work almost every day. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I swear these people can’t function without me and I’m the one that puts in the least amount of time there. I suppose that it just proves I’m a needed asset at my job? It’s still annoying to be off, but not really off.

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I did not know just how hard it was to turn bad habits into good ones.

Case in point: the dishes. For the most part, I’m trying to make sure the dishes are done every day before I go to bed. Occasionally, I miss a day, but for the most part I’ve been successful with this venture. (Though today there are still dishes in our sink, but that’s neither here nor there.) There are other things that we’re trying to change for the positive and they’re coming slowly. It’s going to take time to change 25 and 30 years of bad habits. We know this, but we’re trying, because we want to succeed and make our new lives together good.

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