Posts Tagged ‘xbox 360’

I found out tonight that a friend of mine passed away in his sleep Friday night. When my husband told me, I didn’t believe it. I had to get my phone out and check his Facebook feed for myself. It was fully of sympathy notes and memories of a man almost three years younger than I am. I cried. In fact, I’m still crying. I hadn’t known my friend Matthew for very long, two years at most, but the loss was felt instantly.

I met Matt on Xbox LIVE. I don’t really remember how we met. I think my friend Chris had met him and brought him into our circle of folks that we routinely play Xbox with. I loved him instantly. If he was good enough for “The Circle,” then, of course, he as good enough for me. Matt was always fun and lively. He was always supportive and would have a kind word to say to you when you were down. We played so much Gears of War together that I considered him a well-tested “brother in arms” when it came to video games and Gears of War. He eventually drifted toward being “PC exclusive,” but we continued to chat on Facebook and Skype whenever we could. The last interaction I had with him was nothing spectacular. I had made a reference to the wonderful batch of lasagna that I made Thursday night and he had commented on how it sounded delicious. Oh, it was delicious and how I wish I could’ve sent him some.

Matthew Morley was from Australia, but his friendship crossed oceans and touched hearts around the world. He was an avid Final Fantasy XIV player and loved Final Fantasy XI and Phantasy Star Online 2. He challenged SEGA to bring their Japan-only exclusives to English-speaking fans with letters and petitions. He loved small furry creatures and cherished his dog Ying Yang. He like a bright light in your life when you were having a dark day and asked for nothing in return.

A bright and shining figure in the dark.

July 12, 1984 – November 16, 2013 — You will be missed, sir.

I decided to write his father a letter since I couldn’t do the Southern tradition of sending food to the family of the person that has passed. I was really unsure, but I did it anyway. I hope that my letter is well-received by his dad. I know that his dad has trouble using Facebook and I really wanted to offer my sympathy to him. Browsing the memorial posts has let me know that Matt’s mother also passed away some time ago so this man has lost not only his wife, but also his son. It’s heartbreaking and I hope that they are able to recover from it.

I hope that I can cheer up before we go to town tonight for Ender’s Game and the Xbox One release, but I don’t know. I’ll try, but it might be a bit before I’m okay with it.

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Lee has decided to go to bed early and that leaves me sitting and watching YouTube alone. I could head to bed as well, but he went to bed after I whined and so I can only assume that I’ve done something. Rather than crawl straight into bed with him, I’m going to give him his space and allow him to get to sleep before I go in there.

The past week has been full of things happening.

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The best advice I’ve received about my writing, so far, was given to me by a random person that I had never spoken to before. How they found my short blurb announcing to the world that I was giving up, I can’t say for sure, but I’ve thought about it off and on for a little while and realize that they are probably correct.

Do you write for the pleasure of it? Nothing should take it away from you if that be the case. Perhaps instead of writing for others to thread with you, write for yourself.

I don’t remember the last time I wrote for myself rather than for the amusement of others. I think that’s always been what’s on my mind when I do write. I’ve also had a struggle within myself about my writing. I want to tell a story that I love and share it with others, but part of me wants no one to ever read what I write for fear that they’ll criticize it. Criticism would only help me expand my writing and make it better, but I don’t like criticism. Criticism just discourages me and makes me not want to try again and that’s in all aspects of my life. Criticize any of my work and I no longer wish to do whatever it was that you were critical about. I suppose you could call me overly-sensitive.

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I haven’t blogged in a month and, honestly, I have no real excuse.

Oh, I can give you excuses (I was sick; my man was sick; I was busy; I was tired; I was depressed), but none of them really amount to much considering all I have to do is drop a short paragraph into this thing and, ta dah!, I’ve blogged. There are so many things I’d like to talk about without really talking to anyone about them. My wedding. My feeling of failure. My constant feelings of dissatisfaction and malaise. Above all, my intense anger over any and everything that isn’t how I expect it to be. Lately, the anger itself has given into the malaise and boredom, but I’d prefer the anger just because it’s an actual feeling.

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I’m sad that it’s Wednesday already.

I don’t feel like I’ve had a whole vacation simply, because I’ve been fielding calls/texts from work almost every day. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I swear these people can’t function without me and I’m the one that puts in the least amount of time there. I suppose that it just proves I’m a needed asset at my job? It’s still annoying to be off, but not really off.

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I’m finally taking a vacation for the first time since August.

Last year, I took my winter vacation early so that my circle of Xbox friends and I could get together for a grand event on our friend Marvin’s birthday. It was a super-long drive, but the whole thing was amazing. You might not consider Ohio to be a vacation destination, but the weather at the beginning of August was splendid last year. So much cooler than Arkansas, but still summery weather.

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Well, my dearly beloved recently informed me that he’s been reading all my blog posts which made me feel a variety of different emotions all at once. First, I was embarrassed, because someone I actually know was reading my blog. Next, I was horrified, because it was my man reading my blog. It’s a strange thing when someone you know and love is reading your thoughts, feelings, or writings. I always feel more comfortable sharing these things with strangers than I do with people close to me. I can’t figure out why that is. Maybe it’s because I feel like strangers aren’t going to confront me when my thoughts get as strange as I know they can get? I’m not really sure what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable. Possibly it’s because I lose the anonymity of the internet when I know the person who is reading what I’m writing. I think that’s the one thing that has always allowed me to be comfortable sharing my writing and thoughts.

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