Posts Tagged ‘xbox’

I found out tonight that a friend of mine passed away in his sleep Friday night. When my husband told me, I didn’t believe it. I had to get my phone out and check his Facebook feed for myself. It was fully of sympathy notes and memories of a man almost three years younger than I am. I cried. In fact, I’m still crying. I hadn’t known my friend Matthew for very long, two years at most, but the loss was felt instantly.

I met Matt on Xbox LIVE. I don’t really remember how we met. I think my friend Chris had met him and brought him into our circle of folks that we routinely play Xbox with. I loved him instantly. If he was good enough for “The Circle,” then, of course, he as good enough for me. Matt was always fun and lively. He was always supportive and would have a kind word to say to you when you were down. We played so much Gears of War together that I considered him a well-tested “brother in arms” when it came to video games and Gears of War. He eventually drifted toward being “PC exclusive,” but we continued to chat on Facebook and Skype whenever we could. The last interaction I had with him was nothing spectacular. I had made a reference to the wonderful batch of lasagna that I made Thursday night and he had commented on how it sounded delicious. Oh, it was delicious and how I wish I could’ve sent him some.

Matthew Morley was from Australia, but his friendship crossed oceans and touched hearts around the world. He was an avid Final Fantasy XIV player and loved Final Fantasy XI and Phantasy Star Online 2. He challenged SEGA to bring their Japan-only exclusives to English-speaking fans with letters and petitions. He loved small furry creatures and cherished his dog Ying Yang. He like a bright light in your life when you were having a dark day and asked for nothing in return.

A bright and shining figure in the dark.

July 12, 1984 – November 16, 2013 — You will be missed, sir.

I decided to write his father a letter since I couldn’t do the Southern tradition of sending food to the family of the person that has passed. I was really unsure, but I did it anyway. I hope that my letter is well-received by his dad. I know that his dad has trouble using Facebook and I really wanted to offer my sympathy to him. Browsing the memorial posts has let me know that Matt’s mother also passed away some time ago so this man has lost not only his wife, but also his son. It’s heartbreaking and I hope that they are able to recover from it.

I hope that I can cheer up before we go to town tonight for Ender’s Game and the Xbox One release, but I don’t know. I’ll try, but it might be a bit before I’m okay with it.

Lee has decided to go to bed early and that leaves me sitting and watching YouTube alone. I could head to bed as well, but he went to bed after I whined and so I can only assume that I’ve done something. Rather than crawl straight into bed with him, I’m going to give him his space and allow him to get to sleep before I go in there.

The past week has been full of things happening.

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The best advice I’ve received about my writing, so far, was given to me by a random person that I had never spoken to before. How they found my short blurb announcing to the world that I was giving up, I can’t say for sure, but I’ve thought about it off and on for a little while and realize that they are probably correct.

Do you write for the pleasure of it? Nothing should take it away from you if that be the case. Perhaps instead of writing for others to thread with you, write for yourself.

I don’t remember the last time I wrote for myself rather than for the amusement of others. I think that’s always been what’s on my mind when I do write. I’ve also had a struggle within myself about my writing. I want to tell a story that I love and share it with others, but part of me wants no one to ever read what I write for fear that they’ll criticize it. Criticism would only help me expand my writing and make it better, but I don’t like criticism. Criticism just discourages me and makes me not want to try again and that’s in all aspects of my life. Criticize any of my work and I no longer wish to do whatever it was that you were critical about. I suppose you could call me overly-sensitive.

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I haven’t blogged in a month and, honestly, I have no real excuse.

Oh, I can give you excuses (I was sick; my man was sick; I was busy; I was tired; I was depressed), but none of them really amount to much considering all I have to do is drop a short paragraph into this thing and, ta dah!, I’ve blogged. There are so many things I’d like to talk about without really talking to anyone about them. My wedding. My feeling of failure. My constant feelings of dissatisfaction and malaise. Above all, my intense anger over any and everything that isn’t how I expect it to be. Lately, the anger itself has given into the malaise and boredom, but I’d prefer the anger just because it’s an actual feeling.

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I’m sad that it’s Wednesday already.

I don’t feel like I’ve had a whole vacation simply, because I’ve been fielding calls/texts from work almost every day. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I swear these people can’t function without me and I’m the one that puts in the least amount of time there. I suppose that it just proves I’m a needed asset at my job? It’s still annoying to be off, but not really off.

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Well, my dearly beloved recently informed me that he’s been reading all my blog posts which made me feel a variety of different emotions all at once. First, I was embarrassed, because someone I actually know was reading my blog. Next, I was horrified, because it was my man reading my blog. It’s a strange thing when someone you know and love is reading your thoughts, feelings, or writings. I always feel more comfortable sharing these things with strangers than I do with people close to me. I can’t figure out why that is. Maybe it’s because I feel like strangers aren’t going to confront me when my thoughts get as strange as I know they can get? I’m not really sure what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable. Possibly it’s because I lose the anonymity of the internet when I know the person who is reading what I’m writing. I think that’s the one thing that has always allowed me to be comfortable sharing my writing and thoughts.

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I’ve decided that I need to keep a blog again, but this time I’m moving it to wordpress if only, because I hear that the “serious” bloggers go to wordpress. I could start with an introduction, but I figure that I’ll probably cover that by finishing my “About Me” page. To give you a summary of myself: I’m a woman who recently turned thirty and is looking for a way to channel her writing inspiration into something much more constructive than just staring at my computer screen and hoping the words will appear as if by magic. I’m an extremely avid gamer (bordering upon addiction) and won’t go anywhere without my Xbox 360. I also have recently became engaged to a man that I’m sure will make the best husband ever, particularly because he’s an even bigger geek than I am. That about covers the important bits really.

Well, it’s Friday again (same time every week) and I’m laying in bed trying to make myself sleepy. I work weekend option at my job, nights on top of that, and so my bedtime is at eight a.m. Yeah, my work week begins when yours ends. Sometimes people seem to forget that there are folks who choose to work on the weekends. You honestly wouldn’t believe the benefits of working a weekend 3-day shift. I get to do a lot more than anyone else when it comes to weekday things. The only bad thing is that I don’t get to spend weekend time with my friends and family. So many people forget that I’m a night-shifter as well. That is almost slightly more annoying than when they forget that I work on Saturdays. My lovely fiance has even modeled his schedule around mine so that we can spend time together. He is the best man I’ve ever met.

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